xxsunnyphoeinxx
I think that like we as a fandom don't talk enough about how part of the reason Daniel went back into the closet was definitely the AIDS/HIV epidemic
angrybubbles
I fucking love talking about AIDS and Daniel's sexuality, let's gooooooo
It's such a wonderful layer to his story that--while not confirmed by the writers team or story itself-- would be a waste to not use the setting to explore the tumultuous risk of sexuality and love and why it's created this cautious, skeptical, bitter man who chases one last story during a global pandemic.
I'm starting with Louis because it always starts with Louis. Louis's vampirism is thematically tied to his sexuality as a gay man. He embraced Lestat in front of a bloody altar as he chose the freedom that Lestat offered to be himself. Louis's struggles with feeding on humans also connects to his internalized self-hatred about that desire. Vampirism is unrelenting hunger ect ect ect.
So the fact that it's Louis who took Daniel home, showed him his fangs, and shifted the desire of bloodlust to the other ways Daniel could perform for him, that we get the beginning of the thematic connection. Daniel's run-in with vampiric sexuality is something that is offered with explanation, exploration, and history. Not just a tumble into a coffin. But it's a run-in that ended in blood, pain, and waking up in a drug den.
Daniel would rather hide behind a "social contract" as a young junkie doing sex work. I always clock that Daniel takes his shirt off after one or two lines before getting into any harder substances, because he wants his wits about him. Sex at the moment is enjoyable payment, and not something he wants to drown out, but it IS payment. Daniel ends up fascinated by the fangs that Louis shows him proudly. But Daniel is disappiointed that Louis isn't doing anything with it. "It' being vampirism, but Louis's it specifically being "gay sexuality." When Louis finally sinks his fangs into Daniel's neck, it isn't out of bloodlust. That isn't Louis's sexuality draining Daniel, that's his anger and self-hatred. That's what leaves a visible scar on him.
The final moments in the apartment are also really intriguing when highlighting sexuality. On one shoulder we have sexual trauma walking (Armand) reinforcing his fears of the empty promise of a heteronormative life, and on the other is a burned angel (Louis) whispering to him that he is more than what he's been making of himself and he has a bright future where HIS perspective matters.
With all the torture Armand puts him through the next week, the suicide seduction, and then the memory fogging, Daniel will end up with only the echoes of what happened that night. Curiosity, followed by a sick kind of fear, but knowing that he has eyes that can seek out important perspectives.
This leading INTO the AIDS crisis, and from the notes about Daniel's book covering it, he was following the growth of the epidemic in San Francisco from the beginning. He already was aware how close death follows that kind of love, even if it only sat as a gut instinct and fuzzy nightmare. He had the eyes to see where those voices weren't being heard, and the will and empathy to speak about it.
But the thing that we all love about Daniel is that he challenges death embodied (vampires) to the face. Even the cloudy memories encoding more caution into his desire to sleep with men would probably not be enough to keep him away. It just created a larger state of denial, and a brasher surface.
This, more than ANY OTHER BIT OF EVIDENCE is actually what has me convinced Past DM is real.
Thematically in the shadow of AIDS and death haunting the queer community, and revealing its threat in ways that everyone en-mass denied, dehumanized, and refused to take seriously until it was too late. Drug use by shared needles contributed to the spread, making any heroin use we know Daniel was up to connecting here as well (Daniel reminiscing about Mexican black tar heroin comes to mind.) Armand, as a manifestation of pain following a queer connection, has already made himself a part of that shadow on Daniel's skin. Armand is already comfortably connected to this theme, as one that Daniel has to keep in sight to remember that it's real.
And also character-narrative wise, DM is grappling with desire to be loved vs desire to live. Armand is Daniel's fear of his own sexuality. Armand is Daniel's addiction. Armand is the dead thing he wants to hold. Armand is hedonism and drowing in desire and experience in ways that drain him. Armand is the love that he has begged to keep him, even if it meant draining the last of the life he had left. Armand is the grim fear of loving a man when loving a man could bring his death. This fits agonizingly well into AIDS.
And when it's gone? The only thing that lingers is the fear and empty space on the bed beside him. The itching longing. Returning to old haunts and seeing it has painted over new, like it never happened. It's the quiet where there should be noise. It's a bone-deep loss of a lifestyle and culture.
Daniel went through rehab. Daniel ended up sinking into partially fulfilling heteronormativity with two ex wives and two daughters. Daniel got distance from his desires and cravings, which lets him believe it wasn't real. He continued pursuing his highs in dangerous work as an investigative journalist. And he ends up on the other side of his life dismissing his youth spent in gay bars as chasing a high.
And all of this ties neatly once again as the modern setting is during the visible height of the Covid pandemic. Daniel is audibly cautious and attentive to his health in episode one, asking details from his doctor about the new variant. He's keeping the same attention to development of the pandemic, with a similar personal worry as he is in the high-risk demographic, as he would have to the development of what will be known as AIDS the late 70s and early 80s. But he's old and washing up, and he can't be on the ground with a unique perspective anymore because phones make it much easier for everyone to have a voice. He's not needed, and he can barely offer advice except a cautionary tale of "do's and don't's."
But then he gets an invitation. To revisit an interrupted night 49 years prior from the same man who told him what vampirism was like. And now the story is slightly different. It's more pleasant. And Daniel--skeptic, jaded, and living in the closet--wants desperately to know why. He sees Louis as dangerous, he sees Louis's feeding with critical eyes and a mix of dismay and interest. He is looking for the flaws in this luxurious life he is being presented with, because practice and memory tell him something is off. Is it Louis, who's internalized homophobia still manifests in his internal pain of being a vampire? Is it Armand, the lingering shadow of his own repressed sexuality? Is it because Daniel thinks this is too sterile of an environment to survive the pandemic outside? Is it all the shadows and memories and nightmares of his past that had been so far out of sight that he stopped trying to make sense of them?
Daniel's past memories are painful when Louis brings them up, even as he has fondness lingering in them. In 1x02, they exhange jab after jab and really amp up their powerplays. Louis is recounting the experience of "coming out," and all the glee, desire, new perspectives, disgust, isolation, and change in his family and community engagements that came with it. Daniel responds with skepticism, sardonic reminders that Louis and Lestat couldn't be in equal partnership, and he stresses worry that Louis would hurt his own family (did you eat the baby?). Louis drains a live fox in front of him, and then invites Damek to dine, showing Daniel how he eats with controlled desire. (Kind of in a "see, I'm one of the good ones" framing. Oh Louis the character you are.) But it's when the night comes to close and they've both duelled over what it meant for Louis to "come out," Louis shares ice cream with Daniel that is emotionally connected to a past lover. Louis is seeking parallels here; he's creating a gentler environment for empathy and connection. If Armand is mixed up with Alice (or is Alice), then the fact that Louis sought a parallel HERE is foreshadowing to the complicated abusive love they've both left behind for their own (and other's) safety and well-being. The eyes of society that made them feel small and oppressed become small in the experience of a shared meal and shared experience (which is what Louis signified in sharing the memory of Lestat sharing the opera singer with him.).
Daniel's dismissive of the "gift" of vampirism (offered by Louis) and waves it off as being meant for the young rent boy standing by with devotion. (Ugh, Daniel. Ouch. Oof. The layers in that line...) If we bring back that thematic sexuality, Daniel is saying it's for the young and devoted, not for him. Subtextually with a reparative reading, you can see that Daniel holds resentment of the lost chances of his youth. He's too old to come out, he lost his chance in the face of danger and disease years ago as he fought for queer voices. Death should have claimed him then. Now the only thing he can do is record and sell this queer voice before he finally sleeps for good.
And then Armand said NO. You're not dying yet. Potentially again, but dragging Daniel out of the closet kicking and screaming this time, instead of shoving him in.
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